I DID IT MY WAY

Post 60 - Wednesday February 4th, 2026

If I had to sum up my life in just one statement, then I reckon it would be fair for me to simply say I did it my way. Was my way the right way, well, sometimes I got things right and sometimes I failed dismally, that is a given. But whatever way my time here on earth has gone I know that life has been a privilege. And yeah, I had a crack, had a go in the true Aussie tradition of giving it my best shot.

Ok, that doesn't mean I always did life the right way, but it does mean for 71 and a bit year doing life my way has been a personal superpower. Regrets, yeah, I have regrets, some massive regrets in fact because pissing people off has been something I have made into an art form at times. But this is neither the place nor the forum to be dissecting the good and the not so good in the life of John Andrew Green.

Now, here I am in my twilight years still doing what I believe is best for me. Doing it my way.

So, on that thought, is living out here off grid at Lake Burrumbeet near Ballarat best for where I am at with age and given my crap health? Am I just adding to the awkward health issues by putting myself in danger? Am I looking at this right? Should I be reconsidering my life choice at this time and not be living on my own in this isolated spot?

I guess I could genuinely argue either way, but maybe what I am really doing here is simply doing it my way? 

I reckon I have balanced the off grid living pretty well, taking myself out of circulation to live this idyllic nature driven outdoors existence that comes with such great peace and dare I say, serenity. And in my current state of mind that sounds about perfect. Look, it gets tough at times being out here, awkward tough, the heat of the past few days was horrendous, really tough, the wind, the constant strong wind is a drain on my energy and my ability to focus, and then two cold nights making me shiver as I negotiate the extreme weather changes. But I am in Victoria, I am told this is normal. Yeah, maybe normal but it is tough.

With my Lewy Body Dementia battle I often say life it tough, life is up and down, already the journey has seen me undergo significant change. Day to day the changes look small, but when I revisit the LBD journey I see how the cognitive issues have had such a profound effect, sadly, I am a different bloke. The struggle. mentally and emotionally to see things as they really are, and to do things in an orderly and sensible manner has mostly deserted me. 

Sometimes I am instinct driven, sometimes those instincts get so confused and life inside my head is a jumble. By association that means life on the outside is a mirror image, it becomes very hit and miss with how I tackle any given task or tasks. 

At times I get so confused by my own inability to do things, to do things that actually make any sense. Sometimes I must look like a nutter, a silly dill, a person who is eccentric or, yeah, a nutter.

And then there are the LBD associated downers like falling, shaking, talking to myself, seeing objects, not seeing objects and getting disorientated to the point I just cannot fathom where the dickens I am. Sometimes I find myself in a trance like state, I just stand and stare, stare without acknowledging what is going on around me. And that is happening more often.

Perfect example, last Friday I was shopping with Ruth in Woolies at Stocklands Shopping Centre in Wendouree, I went off to get some tomatoes. Ruth is suffering and limping with sciatic pain at the minute so I thought I would give her time to rest up, but off on my own I got disorientated and was totally blank. 

Eventually a worker asked if I was ok and well, dare I say the conversation was shit, embarrassingly so as I had to admit I had no idea where I was or what I was doing. Once I spotted Ruth waving to me from across the aisle I clicked back into understanding where and why but for a time it was rather hairy and dead set embarrassing once I worked it all out. However, I must have looked very lost for the worker to approach me? 

And on a fun side to this misadventure in Woolies, when I got back to Ruth, I had pumpkin and carrots instead of tomatoes, yeah, I know, but maybe I can have a veggie bake at camp in place of salad? The really sad part being, I had no recollection whatsoever of selecting the vegetables, I was as surprised as Ruth.

That type of incident is not happening often, but it is happening more often, I feel myself losing my grip on life one awkward step at a time. In this situation, once I recover, I try to reason with myself as to what happened and I think, seriously think, at this point with the LBD I can use these incidents to plan future excursions as in this case to the shops. I can use this as a strategy to help next time. And sometimes that actually works, sometimes not.

This tells me that just when I think I am doing ok, I let my guard down, meaning the strategies I have in place to offset my cognitive decline slacken and within a short time I am lost in my cognitive thoughts and hence my physical actions. That is generally a reality check and while I still function ok the battle inwardly rages. It is not a battle I am winning, and it is a battle that consumes so much energy.

So, off grid living again and this time on my own. When Ruth and I left Green Hill Lake at Ararat after 10+ months off grid and went into a unit at Ballarat, that was ok in principle. Ruth needed to be back indoors, she loved Green Hill Lake, but home comforts called and the unit was her best option. 

But I always struggled, I never settled, I was literally climbing the walls. Sure, we still had a few road trips to keep life ticking along, we went across to South Australia a few times, we worked in the yard, went out to eat, went to the greyhounds including Ballarat Cup night. Had a couple of days at the racetrack here in Ballarat, also for a race day we went over to Hamilton, and another day down to Geelong, all our normal life things but the unit never ever gave me a real peace of mind. I felt trapped. I felt isolated mentally meaning I was cactus with my cognitive troubles and on any sort of emotional level, I hated the place. It was not a happy unit, not for me.

The unit itself was perfect, but not perfect for me at this time. On a plus it provided the stability I had lost since leaving my home in Woodcroft in June 2022, seriously the unit had so much upside but emotionally, nah, it was not a good fit. Ballarat is not a place I would choose to live but with the health circumstances dictating this to be home for now then being here was not the problem. Ballarat is a great place, plenty to see and do, logistically it is perfect, weather a bit touchy but all in all it is a decent city. And the unit in Wendouree was perfect in location, sadly not perfect for me just now.

So, after 9 months of that personal battle I decided to move out to Lake Burrumbeet and go back to living off grid. Sure, the unit offered so much in normality, showers, heating, cooling, TV, music, a kitchen, that great yard and garden but my mind never adapted and I craved the serenity of being in the bush, in nature.

Given that I am in such a cognitive mess I guess this is the best place for me. Will this be forever, no, definitely not but for this season of life I am set and loving being here on the shores of Lake Burrumbeet. It comes with the dangers, but it also comes with my mind being at ease, I am much happier here than at the unit. With not having a licence to drive because of medical issues it does mean I am here without transport. That is not a good scenario.

Hygiene is sort of an ongoing issue being off grid, this camp area has no showers. I do go into the unit to shower but that is every second Friday and sometimes on random days for Doctor appointments. There is a plan B, I do swim here in the lake, and yes, I bath and scrub and wash my hair, not only is it a cool summer thing it is about having a wash as well. 

My stoma and pee bag need daily cleaning, I have a good routine with that and I generally go ok. I do have a stoma issue, a stoma hernia that will need correcting but that is not a result of being out here, and while it comes with pain it does not limit my ability to get around.

Some routines can be hit and miss but somehow psychologically I seem to be good with the wee bag hygiene. Maybe because the overnight bag needs to be emptied in the mornings and that seems to jog my memory to clean the bag and stoma. And I have mastered the art of changing my bag, mostly I remember but at times it will leak and that prompts the change. It took some working out to get the fitting right, especially around the stoma but I am doing ok and get it right most times.

Fun is always possible, even here off grid living alone with day after day of no contact with anyone other than my animals. Sometimes I feel like Forrest Gump, well, not actually Forrest Gump but that bloke when he was stranded on a desert island, you know, in the movie, Castaway. He made imaginary friends and spent hours in their company. I do that, because all my regular nature camp visitors have names, they visit and, well, they are good listeners, mind you they don't say much and as long as I feed them, they are very loyal mates.

The wildlife here is super amazing, always something going on. And they all have their likes and dislikes with food, what they eat and won't eat, where they like me to leave their food, they have a pecking order, a hierarchy of sorts and they guide me on our daily interactions. They come and go at will, but all seem happy to be a part of this great life at Camp Beat on the shores of Lake Burrumbeet near Ballarat. I think the animals keep me sane.

Except for the snakes, the words John and snake should never ever be mentioned in the same sentence, but in the 69 days I have been out here by the lake, get this, I have had four snakes in my camp area. Yeah, I know, no close calls but those little creepy snake things seem to know how to scare the crap out of me. And four of them, wow.

Ok, on that creepy crawly note this post is done, thanks for reading. My sole focus on penning this blog is therapy, therapy for me, it is an outlet for me to record this LBD journey and to write about how I navigated the path as things went slowly downhill. I do look back and read and feel blessed to know I had the opportunity to get this blog active and record my various thoughts and understandings over time as my journey progressed. 

And it helps provide an outlet for my love of writing. Sadly, my writing motivation has mostly deserted me in recent months and while I still enjoy writing it gets harder to find the energy to focus. Most times, once I get going, I am ok but my ability to concentrate for any length of times is sadly very tested. I give up easily as it is just easier that way. But despite the challenges I have loved putting my blog together, and for the record, over 51,000 views, again, thanks so much to everyone who reads and supports my JonnyG Remembers blog.

Now, the obligatory JonnyG funny to sign off ... with politics being a strong talking point I must remind you all about political jokes, be very careful because sometimes they get elected ...

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Living my daily life off grid at Camp Beet in Ballarat

Every day I get to view the best of the best, above left is my daytime view from my back yard at Camp Beet looking out through the red gums into the farm paddock heading south, and the night pic on the right is my front yard view, in the east a full moon rises over Lake Burrumbeet and the magical views just keep on giving ...

With solar power panels and a lithium battery and battery box I can store power for up to 36 hours, well, that's the theory ... but if I am on the ball and get my solar panels out for the sunshine hours then I do ok, my fridge runs full time and I have a laptop, phone, smart watch and torch that are all chargeable by the battery or panels ... I cannot run high tech gadgets like a microwave or air con but that is fine ... working out the fridge settings took time, getting the temperature setting right so as to not draw excess power was a work in progress ... and my pantry (pic below) is always well stocked, technically I only need to shop once a fortnight, I use long life milk so really the only shopping issue I have is fresh bread ... and without a freezer it is a touch awkward but no big deal in the scheme of things living here off grid ...

Living off grid doesn't mean you miss all the perks of living in town ... some things are different yet the same, I do my washing at the unit once a fortnight and then hang the wet clothing on the lines I have strung up in amongst the red gums, and with the wind and sun, wow, it is like having my own personal dryer ... without heating I rely on hot water bottles on the cold nights, and even on warmer night they are good heat bags so I miss nothing there ... I have a fire pit ready, have not used it to this point, it's summer and with fire bans and not needing warmth then my fire pit is unused, but come winter that may change, safety will be my big issue so I will need to see how a camp fire will go, but I have started to store my wood in readiness for the cold days ... and I have a garden, sure, not really growing much but I do have some sunflowers and wheat, once ready they will make good possum and rabbit food ...

Naturally the possums are great mates and that add so much enjoyment when they visit Camp Beet at night ... the possums here are ground feeders, they don't like being fed in the trees, the exception being the big girl I have discovered in the hollow at the back of my camp, it's only been the last fortnight or so I realised she was there, she is Cuatro (Ruth, that's Spanish for Possum 4) and she likes to be fed before dark, maybe in the hollow it seems like night time to her, she is scared but waits and watches as I leave her food, one day I reckon she will trust enough for hand feeding ... my most regular visitor is Uno, he is number one, and he loves his food and a drink on a hot night, I can hand feed him, green apple being his favoured tucker ...

And the bird life here is simply the best, just like Green Hill Lake there is an abundance of birds in the area and thankfully most call in for a feed ... the long leg black birds, water hens, have taken a long while to visit, maybe over the holiday period there were too many campers and they didn't feel safe, but they call in now, up to six at a time, they are shy but enjoy the oats I leave out, and the corn ... magpies, parrots, cockatoos and an array of small birds like wrens, blackbirds, sparrows, willy wagtails all call in, and a big pair of white cockatoos seem to want to nest in the big red gum at the back of the camp, not sure when their nesting season is but it seems they have picked a hollow up very high and the frequent the spot, I can only dare to dream I guess ... on the lake the pelicans swarm, or whatever pelicans do, but they feed and swim, majestic birds, I have always loved pelicans right from my early childhood days growing up on Lake Bonney in Barmera SA ... and on a note of intrigue, the past few night I think I hear an owl over the back somewhere, never seen one but I reckon I hear it hooting

The most amazing birds to call at the camp is the pair of kookaburras that sit in a tree on the lake side of my camp, just 20 feet away, they generally come as a pair although sometimes there is just one, they are so noisy, their distinct sound is so loud and clear, if I didn't know better I reckon they are laughing at me, mmmmmmm ... they do eat, sometimes, only ever meat so I have a supply of tin spam and bully beef that I cut into chunks for them to have a feed, or sometimes bacon rind, they come down to ground level to get the food then quickly head straight back up into the tree, they play the safety game and yeah, sadly they are shy and it is hard to get anywhere near them but we have sorted our territory, they visit, I respect them and I stay clear ...

And the camp is really home to all comers, Uno possum comes in at night, he has no fear, he comes and asks for food and shares his time with me ... and the magpie, silly thing will just waltz in and out at will, always searching for oats or corn or crumbs, but I love what nature allows me to share, so good, I am so blessed ...

Horses are often in the campgrounds, I guess the lake is the big attraction, it is shallow near the shore, and you often see horses being walked in the water ... and the vehicle tracks are generally quite sandy in places, so I guess that too is good for the horses, but whatever the reason, it is great looking out my camp window and watching horses pass ... there are rabbits here but no kangaroos, the rabbits are close, they have a warren about 25 metres from my camp, they are always good fun, I sit and watch as they play and frolic, running free, and one day I might smell rabbit stew cooking at Camp Beet!!! mmmmmmmmm ... and in the back paddocks to the south I hear cows, never see then but when the wind is still I can hear them in the distance ...

At times camp visitors are few and far between, mainly other campers who stop by to chat, I can go days without any face to face contact ... this week was different, Emily from Uniting spent time with me at camp on Monday, she is good value, Ruth called through on Tuesday morning on her way across to Adelaide and then on Wednesday Hermit Bill from Ararat paid a visit ... he and Buster stayed a couple of hours, we had a good catch up and a wander around the camp grounds, morning tea pies from the Beaufort Bakery that he kindly supplied, we had camp tea/coffee and I was left with a variety of goods that Hermit Bill had for me including fresh bread, his homemade apricot jam and his own farm grown lamb chops and lamb sausages and veggies he grows in his hot house at Ararat ... cheers buddy, they will all go to good use ...

Having a few different health issues is confronting at times, pain being the hardest to deal with ... my bladder cancer surgery in November 2023 meant I had my bladder, prostate, urethra, appendix and score of lymph nodes removed leaving residual effects, again pain being at the top of the list ... the resulting stoma and pee bag are life changing, it has past two years now and I have never really adapted, hey, I get by, no drama but having this stoma in my tummy to pee out of and the attachments including the bag that goes with it have been really hard to accept ... 

Now I have developed a hernia at the stoma site, it has grown significantly in recent months and will likely require surgery, left unchecked it could cause infection and bowel issues ... I have an ultrasound on Monday at Ballarat Hospital and from there my GP thinks surgery will be recommended, he is thinking having the Urology Team back at Flinders Medical Centre in Adelaide do the surgery, but, that would mean a hospital stay and then recovery keeping me in SA for about 14 days, at this point, I am not convinced but I do desperately need help with the pain ... the area of the hernia is very tender, swollen and sore and the pain is almost unbearable at times, things like blowing my nose, coughing and sneezing causing sharp searing pain to the area, and the hernia is in an awkward spot so gets bumped often ... 

I have had a day outpatient procedure at Ballarat Hospital three Fridays ago, (pics below) it was awkward and while not necessarily intrusive it did take some nerve to get it done, part of the day involved having radioactive fluids pumped in twice through a canula and scans taken to show how things were or went working on the inside ... the side effects for the next two days were crap, headaches, vomiting and I felt like I had been hit by a Mack truck, but all ok now ... results still pending

Ruth still organises all my meds, she has the scripts, gets them filled from the chemist as required, sorts and together we have a written plan that I follow ... when I first moved back off grid I was missing lots of daily doses and my pain levels were out of control, but thankfully the new book listing plan seems to work, I follow a flow chart, and if I am good I might even get a star at the end of the week, mmmmmmmm ... but taking my meds is back on track and the pain is much more manageable ...

And my heart issues remain, AF being ever present, sometimes my heart races uncontrollably, it can cause shortness of breath but with my Nitrostat angina tablets I can generally get on top of the issue fairly quickly, 10 minutes of rest and most times I am good to go again ... my smart watch has a Heart Rate monitor and I generally sit around 60 beats per minute but in AF it gets to around 120+, as shown below it can reach a critical point, the red zone, above 130 but with the under the tongue angina tablet and some bed rest I can get the heart rate back to manageable levels ...

And while this pic below is not really health related, to me it is significant in my health journey ... back in September at the unit Ruth and I decided to lose some weight, she organised a chart and a weekly weigh in, I was out to 118.6 kg, yeah, way way over weight but sadly I was, and by the time I left the unit on November 27th to come here to Camp Beat I was around 110kg and get this, last Friday, January 30th 2026, I have finally dropped below 100 km, hey 99.9 is below 100 so I have shed about 10kg living here off grid ... it has been awhile, 2015 in fact since I was less than 100kg, so on that front I am pleased, I will get down to my desired 95kg ... watch this space

FOOD PICS ON THE INTERNET - WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT?

Cooking is a thing I like to do, I am no fancy pants chef, but I like to cook and I have a few signature dishes ... here at Camp Beet it's a little hard to cook anything complex, no oven as example means I cannot bake, but on my gas top cooker I have a go ... the meals are simple, easy but generally turn out ok, and Ruth helps, she makes some meals that I like and then freezes them down into single portion meals, I bring them here frozen, they thaw in the fridge and are ok for a few days, all I do is heat and serve ... but for as easy and good as that is I do like having a go myself, and with this being summer then salad is often on the camp menu, again, easy and no cooking required ... oh, and wraps, I love salad and/or tuna wraps ...

Dessert is a camp specialty, I love my desserts, hey, it's mostly tin fruit and custard or Ruth has made me a couple of rhubarb and apple crumbles that always find a place on the camp menu ... And I have made a few lots of curried eggs for the salads on hot days, using the tried and trusted hand me down Joan Winifred Green recipe ... even simple toasties get a run out here, easy to make, quick and a great snack ...

And on the subject of cooking, this pic is either sad, embarrassing or funny, or maybe all three ... with my cognitive forgetfulness cooking with the gas can be a hazard, if I have the gas on and forget I am cooking and walk away, well, yeah, trouble ... the kettle is ok because that is a whistling kettle so if I forget I have it on it reminds me it's boiled so safe there ... but the frypan is another story, if I walk away and things go south, mmmmmm, so I have come up with a safe way to cook, I simply tie myself to the cooker, I have enough slack in the rope to be able to move but clearly not far, this way I don't forget the gas is on and it's win win ... I know, the idea is great, but the reason is sad, however it works so you gotta' do what you gotta' do ...