HIT BY THE OLD AGE TRUCK

Post number 5 - January 21st 2023

Does anyone see the Old Age Truck coming

The cognitive function health issue that I am facing will eventually shut down my life. That is an awkward situation to face.

Knowing that my cognitive decline will not reverse is a bummer.

Like all of us we will have experienced a loved one, family member or friend go through this crap disease. And it is not a good watch. There is no easy way to look at any form of dementia and feel anything but sadness.

My goal in writing this blog was and never is anything to do with 'poor me'. Look, there are bouts of sadness in this journey, there are bouts of depression and sometimes tears flow.

In a future post I will write about the awkward sadness that comes with this cognitive decline. It is not always easy to plan to navigate for the trip ahead because it is really an unknown journey. And being sad is often not a choice.

If the reader gains some insight into my plight through my journey, then that sits well. If this blog is simply about it being a good outlet and therapy for me then that sits well.

So being positive it will be.

Trying to detail how and why Lewy Body Dementia (LBD) got a hold on my life is also complex. Small things, lots of small things started to show and over time it became apparent that my cognitive decline was not just an old age thing or being absent minded.

It was not about misplacing the car keys. It was not about walking into a room and not remembering why I went there. It is definitely not about memory. But hey, these issues and many other 'Old Age' issues are part of it of course.

And if you are starting to get on in life and find yourself doing odd things then I will sympathise but will probably laugh with you about the odd moments.

Sure, it is frustrating as life slows down and we slow down with it through ageing, but it can also be fun and a new way to look at life. And that is not said to downplay how it can impact on anyone physiologically. Because it can be hard to face and even harder to come to grips with it when age becomes an issue in our day to day living.

But age does catch-up. That 'Old Age Truck' can hit and for some it hits hard. Don't really think anybody sees it coming.

So, my LBD journey certainly has those 'age' elements but as said, it has many other aspects.

Because there are different types of cognitive decline (dementia) means it can manifest differently in different people.

It is really far too difficult to look at all aspects of the illness in a blog. It is simply far too complex.

Medically there are indicators and brain changes that show dementia is present in a person. But I have never been a medical type bloke so while I listen to the clinicians give their understanding, I also take my own experiences when working through the changes taking place in my mind.

Meaning I will try to work out how it impacts and affects me and at least that can give some small insight into what LBD is about.

But right now, I am certainly at the lucky end of the scale.

I am for the most part functioning near normal, privately it is already a battle but when on show I can stay in control.

The mind is awkward. This smart, intelligent and thinking brain that I was gifted is no help in this situation, all the smarts in the world cannot fix this.

What this mind really does is that it helps at times, and it hinders at times.

My memory is still intact. I have no trouble recalling names, faces, events, time, places, dates, in fact I still have a good memory. In public when meeting with people I am mostly doing well.

For that said, sometimes I can go off in a strange place and get confused in thought. Getting my words out is awkward at these times, getting words in the right order is difficult and speaking is jumbled.

It mainly happens when I am on my own and drop my guard meaning my coping strategies fail. Thankfully in public I am generally better prepared and can cover any little slips in thinking and speech.

So, yep, this is awkward and rather sad. Long-term, who knows. Short term, doing ok.

But we push on, the journey is the journey. Because right now, life has not shut down.

Footy starts in 51 days ... Go Cats

And, as always, I finish with a JonnyG thought …

It seems like I am getting older and wider - instead of older and wiser