THE 50 DAY RECOVERY CHALLENGE

Post 37 - January 16th 2024

Back at the time of my cancer surgery in late November, I was on a bed at Flinders in the High Dependency Ward and feeling rather sore and bothered so I set my self a recovery period of two weeks. So, there I was thinking this painful and uncomfortable time in recovery was just a glitch and soon I would be out of hospital and life will be back to normal.

Wow, how wrong did I get that thought. Today is day 50 of recovery and seriously, this is darn tough. The complications from that surgery on my body physically are profound, they just linger, and this has become a tough gig.

And my mind is in a troubled spot. My journey with Lewy Body Dementia is not easy at any time but right now, I have awful trouble in focusing on thoughts with the body pain and discomfort. I just have to sort of let the cognitive issues go and let them take whatever path they wish to head down. The pain management is the priority.

I simply don't have the mental capacity to do much else. Pain is pain and it becomes overbearing when it is continuous. It sort of sucks the life out of you, it is just difficult to string a few good hours together.

And my motivation is tested. Normally I am a get up and go type bloke, I have great inner strength and just go about getting things done, right now that is just not possible. I have so little energy that the motivation escapes me. I am not good with that, it sucks.

The bad days with this pain and discomfort just keep on keeping on, there is little or no let up. Every day is tough, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is just not shining. I am forever fatigued and really, I achieve very little as one day rolls into the next.

Yeah, so here we are, 50 days of recovery.

And with the LBD just sitting there then I am prone to mistakes as my ability to concentrate and focus on strategies to deal with the cognitive side avoids me. Not always but often.

Ruth and I are house-sitting in the northeastern suburbs, we are lucky to be here. But it is a big property, lots of garden and lawn and that means plenty of time is needed to keep the water up during these hot January days.

I really enjoy having the yard to take care of, I love to be in the garden but yeah, it is a touch testing. It does require a lot of my energy.

However, the chooks, the lovely dog 'London' and the vegie garden certainly do have a plus side, oh, and after almost seven weeks I got to be 'wheelie bin' man again yesterday, that felt good. So, with all of that it means that by being here I get to be doing something constructive. I know I said I have no motivation right now but to take care of things here then I have to be active, as best as I can, things do have to be done. 

Ruth clearly plays her part; she does plenty and that is a big, big help. She enjoys looking after this place. But, for me personally, I still find there is so much to take care of.

Being active with this pain and discomfort does impact my thought process. I had a nasty fall on the weekend, I tripped on the outside steps coming up from the very back of the yard and down I went. My head cracked against one of the brick steps and wow, that hurt, I literally did see stars, I was dazed and just had to stay on the ground for a time until I got my bearings back and was able to get on my feet. And as I hit my elbow and knee when falling, it was awkward trying to get up with some extra painful spots.

It was a silly mistake; I had become complacent and was not paying attention to what I was doing. That was my fault, with my LBD I have strategies in place to prevent incidents like this from happening and I messed up. Now I have had a bad neck and head since the fall and that just adds to my pain and awkwardness.

As said earlier, some post-surgery complications are impacting. My bowel was cut to make a connection for the pee-bag and that area gives grief as it heals. With the lymph nodes being removed around my groin and thigh area, the fluid buildup is annoying and constantly aches. And having the prostate and urethra removed it means my man-parts are still tender and somewhat swollen, they require great care even to walk around.

So, the last thing I need is a fall when I allow the cognitive side to go rogue. I simply need to somehow do better in this area.

With my bladder being removed during that surgery on November 28th then life now means I have a pee-bag. I hate it, I really am struggling. The darn thing is messy, it is just not nice to have the thought that this is now forever, which means I am struggling with the whole concept. It is difficult to get my head around.

Recently a friend suggested to give the pee-bag a name, that way she reasoned the bag and I could maybe become friends, you know, bond. Well, that sounded like a move that may work so I named my pee-bag, Grant. It seemed like a logical choice, a good choice. So, my pee-bag became Grant.

But so far, nothing, no bonding at all. Somehow, I have this mental block, a block that will not let me move forward and accept that Grant and I can be buddies. Every time I say that awful name I have flashbacks, Footy Park, September 1997, semi-final, Cats robbed, Lee Colbert is not paid that courageous pack mark Cats v Cows and history is now different. The AFL Premiership Cup of 1997 should read Cats NOT Cows. Umpire Grant Vernon, bastard.

This incident at Footy Park in Adelaide remains a black day for Australian footy, a day when one man, one man, one blind man, one Umpire Vernon failed to see what everybody else was able to see.

That mark, it was one of the all-time greats. Lee Colbert, you were robbed, Geelong Cats, you were robbed. And the whole footy world knows it.

Now, just before I get finished on that incident that changed AFL history forever, I include this comment from a reputable footy site, look, I don't make this stuff up, this was after all published on the internet so of course it must be correct.

Lee Colbert's spectacular mark in the 1997 semi-final against Adelaide is still a topic of discussion amongst AFL fans. The umpire, Grant Vernon, did not pay the mark, which was a controversial decision. The AFL umpiring department later confirmed that the decision was a mistake.

The AFL has a new CEO this season, one can only hope that he does the right thing, that he will revisit this atrocity, this blight on the game and do what every footy fan knows has to be done. The Cats deserve to be the 1997 AFL premiers, not the bloody Cows. It is time to right this wrong from the past. Let's correct history.

So there, yeah, I know, damn. Now I'm not only stuck for life with this unsightly and uncomfortable pee-bag, but a pee-bag named Grant. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

And for the record, this is Grant Gordon Vernon ... then as an AFL umpire, and now as a former AFL umpire, this bloke is in witness protection but one day, mark my words, one day I will find him, he cannot possibly hide forever ... Umpire Vernon, Bastard ...

Yeah, rather sadly, this recovery is long. Very long indeed. By day 50 I did initially think I would be kicking goals. But gee, rather bluntly I am brutely shown that not to be the case, far from it. This is just really hard to keep a check on.

With the LBD then clearly, I really need every ounce of energy I can muster to keep afloat.

My long-term memory is still ok, it's really in pretty good nick considering what is happening with my cognitive decline. The short-term memory, well, battling a touch, this is a grey area and one I tend to have the most trouble with.

But, one plus side, it is clear that at long last I have moved on from Umpire Vernon. It is in the past and it will stay there.

Ok, that was another long post, bit sooky yet again so thanks for reading. I appreciate everyone who follows my LBD journey, getting close to 21,000 views.

And as is always the case, I will leave you with a JonnyG thought. I delve deep today, and I reckon this understanding will finally put an end to the childbirth pain myth thing that women seem to go on and on and on and on about. As a man, well, we know about pain.

Giving birth isn't as painful as being kicked in the nuts, because after recovering from being kicked, I have never ever heard a man say, "Let's do that again" ...

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One of the most awkward and painful complications has been a bowel blockage ... on Christmas Day it became excruciating, so an ambulance trip was needed to take me to Flinders Medical Centre for treatment ... meaning the day was spent in the ED, eventually the blockage was cleared and yeah, well, I had 3.5kg of buildup and dare I say. wow, what a relief ... it was a hard and painful time, but it fixed the problem on that day ... plenty of blockage issues since but nothing like this effort ...

And my taste buds are just not the same after surgery ... get this, I cannot get a taste for coffee, I did drink a few mouthfuls when in hospital and maybe for a day or three after discharge, but now I am not drinking coffee at all, haven't had a hot beverage for 6 weeks, and for anyone who knows my addiction to coffee will understand how darn odd that is ... so, cold milo is my go-to drink, but just one a day, disappointing, not having a taste for a good coffee is the pits ... some foods that I had always liked I just cannot eat, the taste is wrong, different, but being here housesitting helps with plenty of fresh eggs and loving the tomatoes from the garden ... jelly is ok, pineapple of course and I can handle silverside and hot tomato chutney, my favourite sanga'  ...