SADLY I CANNOT SIMPLY LAUGH MY ARSE OFF WITH SURGERY

Post 35 - December 9th 2023

Well, that was rather disappointing! My resent surgery came with a guarantee that once through the procedure and on leaving hospital, I would be 10kg lighter. Look, I never studied biology at school so I'm a little short on even basic science knowledge, but the surgical team pre-op made the 10kg claim promise, not me.

So, as I sit here at home this morning, maybe 6kg lighter, I am left to ponder what the dickens just happened. Forget the pain, the new pee-bag, the discomfort, the loss of manhood, the hunger and other awkward post-op health issues like my now very unforgiving and rather shitty bowel, I am still fat.

The 8-hour surgery at Flinders Medical Centre on November 28th, 2023, removed my bladder, prostate, urethra and appendix along with numerous lymph nodes from around different organs in my body and I lost 3.5 litres of blood so that would account for most of my 6kg weight loss. But even allowing that, 6kg is NOT 10kg. Disappointing.

Anyhow, it seems, yeah, I took the 10kg pledge but to quote Forrest Gump, "I'm not a smart man Jenny".

So, apparently, from here on life is about going forward. I'm reliably informed by my PA that my best-case scenario is to let this next chapter begin. Nothing to see here, move on. Apparently.

Sure, I do get that, BUT I am still disappointed, look, I have hardly eaten in the 12-days since my operation, the hospital diet was fluids and after some days a light diet was introduced but that was still based on, you guessed it, fluids.

Ruth came in eating her pies and assorted sweets each day and attacked the vending machine for goodies, she would even eat and drink any leftover fluids and food off the hospital tray each meal. Rod visited and he got to eat sandwiches of choice. Jan and Peter had their fill of old-lady volunteer-made real canteen food when they came down from Barmera for a day, other Ward 6C patients were allowed to eat as they pleased with no thought whatsoever as to how the delicious and extremely aromatic food smells would torture me.

So, JonnyG just sat in his little ward cubicle at Flinders and sucked it all up in the belief that short term pain, meant long term weight loss.

Going home 10kg lighter was my goal after my hospital-based incarceration. That was supported, I thought on what the surgical team promised, but nah, they had 'fed me' a line it seems. I mean, 6kg lighter is not 10kg. And when you are fat like me, well 6kg does not even register really. I could have a haircut and drop 6kg. Yep, disappointing.

But, blah blah blah, move on JonnyG.

Apparently, as said, the positive outlook from the surgery is what I should be focused on and use that to my advantage going forward, So, I will. Yep, as I sit here, I'm still fat but in a better health spot. This bladder cancer first showed 25-years ago and the tumor at T1 level had returned four time across the years. But removing the tumor had fixed the issue each time and after some short-term discomforts, and with on-going health checks, life rolled on.

The surgery and discharge summary printout I got to bring home and read through this time is very complex. It seems in the short term I've dodged a bullet. This was a T3 cancer, aggressive and who knows what may have happened. But my cancer is contained in the organs removed; the biopsy report shows the lymph nodes to have 11 benign nodes in five areas but that is not a concern.

Meaning, I am cancer free in essence. Medically of course, this is not the end of the health problems. If the cancer has already spread even though it doesn't show at the minute, then down the track it will get sticky again. The Flinders Urology and Oncology teams will talk with me about chemo, a 12-weeks course that may improve my outlook by something like 5 to 8% on a 5-year plan if we elect to head in that direction.

But, I do need to add the discharge summary was very much appreciated, extremely comprehensive as it needs to be, but I am blessed to know that the Flinders surgical and ward teams go to so much care and detail. Thank-you to all involved.

Unfortunately, on a downside, it fails to address the weight loss issue. Mmmmmmmmm, 6kg is not 10kg. Sadly, it seems I cannot simply laugh my ass off over this one.

And life is just getting more complex with age. Getting older certainly comes with wisdom, it's just that wisdom comes with all the extra kilos, who knew that? So, again, the 10kg surgery loss guarantee but not being delivered is a real setback. I had already factored that in when looking at my diet post-op. But clearly, I am now playing catch-up.

So, just to digress a touch, maybe a diet is needed. I can do diet, I've done it before, earlier this year as example I went on a diet that lasted for what seemed like months. Turned out it was just a Monday morning but gee, it seemed like it went on for months.

Come on JonnyG, back on track, I have lots of things to add to my blog around the surgery and hospital stay so watch this space, more to come over the days. I haven't addressed how the anesthetic played out with my Lewy Body Dementia as yet, that too will be written as a future post.

It will be an important part of my recovery period to document the surgery around the affect it will have on my body but importantly how my mind will process all the changes and the news. This has been massive, I am lucky to be here to write about my experience, that point is definitely not lost on me. But for my own mentality I need to be able to pen my feelings.

Look, I'm still fat but I can still write.

So, for today that's all. Thanks to everyone who has had a read, heading towards 18,500 views of the JonnyG Remembers blog that follows my LBD journey. More to come.

My JonnyG funny for today ...

I bet weight motivation would be easier if you knew the weight you lost went onto someone you don't like ...

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