When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favourite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Post 34 - November 20th 2023

Sometimes my journey with this darn Lewy Body Dementia is fun and gives us plenty of laughs. The problem with cognitive decline is no laughing matter, it is sad, but mixing laughter with the sadness then the journey for me is manageable.

Just now though my whole life is a bit of a mess. The LBD is progressing but even more awkward, sadly, my bladder cancer is causing issues and going forward tough days are set to be the norm.

Next Tuesday I have surgery at Flinders, I will have my bladder, my urethra and my prostate removed. That means a pee bag will be the result and yeah, my manhood days are over.

Surgery will be up to seven hours, recovery will be long, and the weeks ahead look like shit. A hospital stay of 14 days after the op is locked in and that includes time on the ICU and in the high dependency ward at Flinders. Yeah, lots of fun, nah, I think not.

So, I am sitting here writing this post feeling rather rattled. There is naught positivity in my personal being just now. The surgery will leave me in a crap spot both physically and mentally. And the length of time under anesthetic poses a problem for the LBD, it may very well hasten my cognitive decline. Yeah, this just keeps getting better. Bummer.

Ok, so now that I have had a sook, I will get this JonnyG Remembers blog post done. Instead of writing something about my journey as I normally do, today I will add a chapter from my book.

I wrote the Hey Shorty story in 2004 during my 50th year. It is the story of my life and what it was like during those first 50-years. I am in the process of reproducing some chapters by adding pics etc. So, here I include a chapter from the book, it is all about my favourite things, so I am hoping that for me, it lightens my mood and gets me into a better head space. This is a positive look at all things good. Except Umpire Vernon.

Hey, it is a book length chapter, I get that a long read is not for everyone but if you wish to go take a look then please do.

So, from the book Hey Shorty this is chapter number 32. Enjoy.

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32 - These are a few of my favourite things

What do I like to do, what do I enjoy, what are my hobbies, what do I like to do to relax? What don't I like? Who don't I like? I have a very broad interest base in most aspects of life.

Things have clearly changed over 50 years but some of my likes are from childhood, naturally some likes have been added as I've moved through the years of life.

I can communicate with anyone, prince or pauper, kid or adult. I know something about everything, that is not a boast, that is fact. I am blessed with the nouse to absorb 

information and then to retain it. That can be awkward but I guess used well then it is also a gift.

So, the likes in my life, let's get into it. If I could be anyone in time, I would pick George Washington. That is a touch left field on first glance but for me, I have always loved politics, I have loved a true statesman and as I am sure we would all agree, statesmen in politics are rare and scarce.

But I reckon old George would have been a great down-to-earth bloke to know, an academic and a decent loyal God loving man. He was the first President of the United States of America, he was POTIS number one, a leader, a trendsetter, a visionary, he had guts, he had conviction, and he knew how to unite. He got things done, he just made sure things got done. Yep, old George was simply a political colossus. I would be him any day.

Of course, he faced many unique challenges simply allowing for the era he lived in. It would have been rough and tough, a wild frontier, and he was the first president, so he had no precedence to follow. But it was also a time when it was easier to be taken seriously, to be seen as a statesman, to be taken at your word. I mean, no politically correct BS back then, it was what it was, people lived by the book, and they lived true to the book The do-gooder groups of today who scream gloom and doom every time any new idea is proposed, they were nonexistent. Thankfully.

And for the record, my very least favorite person of all time, clearly it is Umpire Vernon. Bastard.

My favourite fruit is banana. My favourite vegetable is potato, boring I guess but they can be eaten in so many different ways. My favorite sandwich is curried egg and lettuce, but I am a tuna and lettuce type of guy as well. As a snack, cheese and tomato smothered in salt and pepper on a Jatz biscuit is my go-to and really fills the hunger hole. I can eat Delta Cream biscuits by the pack full, love them, always did, way back as a kid we didn't get them often, but they were a great treat and just the best snack.

Arnotts make the best biscuits, heads and shoulders the best. My favourites include Yo Yo and Scotch Fingers, gee they have been around forever but are as good now as they have ever been. Some newer biscuit snacks to hit the market that I really enjoy, Country Cheese as a savory and Tim Tam or Mint Slice as a sweet. Oh, and Iced VoVo, they are a bit nice. I do eat Milk Arrowroot biscuits with butter, and vegemite, now that is a delicious snack.

If I am forced to eat cereal my favourite would be Corn Flakes that I say I like, but I am a Weet-Bix kid of sorts. My take on cereal is that it is eaten with cold milk, no sugar. With Corn Flakes fruit is added sometimes, banana of course. In my health kick days (true) Sultana Bran became a favorite, but I will always add extra sultanas.

I do have a love for chocolate, and I mean a real love, yeah, I am a chock-o-holic. So, my favourite amongst so many good chocolate bars, Cherry Ripe, it never loses its appeal. But I do have a crush on Violet Crumble bars, Kit Kat, Bounty, Flake, Mars bars, ah really too many favourites but with chocolate it's a hard job to narrow down just a few specials. And I love Fruit and Nut in the Cadbury's range, family block size of course. My favorite lollie, Chikos.

Dessert, what is my favourite dessert? No contest, my Mum made the best trifle and that is the winner. I was a trifle eater as a kid, a trifle eater as a teenager, a trifle eater as a young man, yeah, you get the drift, I have always been a trifle eating man. Anyhow, my Mum, she totally rocked the trifle making game and I have eaten so many of her offerings. Thank-you Joan Green. Look, I love ice cream, chocolate mousse, apple pie, apricot pie, a variety of fruit and berries, mud cake, yeah, so much in the dessert line. But the trifle, winner.

If I could invite seven people to a private dinner party, who would I invite? Look, seriously not a hard choice, I have heroes from history, heroes from sport, from the music and entertainment world and from my life and while some go way back to childhood, others I have added over the years, and some would be more recent.

So, my dinner party invited guests for the ultimate get together over a meal and a few grogs are: Elvis, George Washington, Geronimo, Shane Gould, Nelson Mandella, Robin Hood and Sidney Bristow.

Wow, I can picture the moment, what a mixture of talent and history sitting around my dinner table. I would leave the seating arrangements up to my special guests, then sit back and let the night begin. 

From minute one it would be fun, chat, music, laughter, food, stories, wine and for me, I would simply soak it all up. Oh what a night.

It simply makes the mouth water, so while I digest that amazing dinner party extravaganza who else are the go-to people from my life.

If I could be a superhero, any superhero, who would I be? Tough call here, Superman was the childhood hero, The Six Million 

Dollar Man was intriguing and naturally Bond, James Bond is very high on my list.

If I could be a sport star from any era who do I choose, Barrie Robran was the best footballer I have ever seen so I would be proud to wear the number 10 for North Adelaide. And I always loved the story of Babe Ruth, the Americal Baseball Hall of Fame 

star had no equal, he changed the way the sport was played with his sheer brilliance.

If I could live my life in any era of time or history, when would I choose?

Simple, I love the stories of the old west in America, a magical time. Just imagine being a cowboy or a gunslinger from the wild west days, that would be so cool. Or I can imagine myself rolling on a wagon train heading west, or east, spending months on the road, er I mean on the trail battling the dust and the elements as I crossed the great American continent.

To have been able to explore a new country and journey into the unknown really really appeals to me. That would be so darn special. I could have travelled from the New York Islands to the Redwood Forrest in Calinfornia on Route66 before it was famous.

And what about being around way back in the time of Robin Hood and his merry men running amok in Sherwood Forrest. Battling that evil Sheriff of Nottingham and his henchmen. Without a doubt, I would fit perfect here, as Robin of course or maybe Little John, ah yeah, thinking it through, now that may be more appropriate.

Then there was the Roman Empire, imagine being a citizen of Pompei, no holds barred, just living life to the full without a care in the world. Or maybe in Rome as Jonny Gladiator, now that really does appeal. I can picture it now; I would have had the Colosseum rockin' and rollin'. And I could have been the stadium announcer and called the action.

Or if not these times, how about the swinging 20's in Chicago, that would have been a blast. I can see me now, Jonny Capone. I reckon Elliott Ness would be cringing, he would have no answers. And what fun it would have been dancing the Charleston when it was fashionable to dance the Charleston. Oh, yes sir, how I love to dance.

If I could drive any car, what make would I choose. Austin Martin

My Favorite meal. Roast Lamb. I love my roasts.

My favorite drink, coffee or diet coke.

While on my favorite drink, I must expand a touch on coffee being my favorite hot brew.

My name is John, and I'm a coffee addict.

But seriously, some days I could drink as many as 20 cups of the stuff, some days not that many but still plenty. In fact, if I have a day when my coffee intake is light, I get a withdrawal headache so bad has my dependency become. Yeah, I know. But for all the coffee I drink I am not a fancy pants coffee drinker by today's yuppie standard. I am most definitely a 'flat white' man. I do not go in for the Latte, the short black, the long black or the like.

But I guess I have not always been a coffee drinker, as a kid growing up at home if we had a hot drink, which was not often, it was Bournville Cocoa. It was awful stuff, yuk! Then I progressed to milo as a teenager and by the time, I was a railway worker doing shifts at Tailem Bend I switched to tea.

Interestingly I had never been one to drink tea despite it being the staple hot drink of the Aussie household since the Jolly Swagman days. Mum was a tea lover, always in a pot, tea leaves and boiling hot water. The teapot sat under a Joan knitted tea cosy and was readily available.

When tea bags were in their infancy, I embraced the idea and so my time as a tea drinker had kicked in. So, in my railway days on the locomotives the teabag made making a cup of tea so much easier, it meant a hot thermos of water and a tea bag replaced the need to boil a billy.

As the years rolled on the tea was a problem as it gave me reflux of sorts and a doctor suggested I stop drinking it. So, I decided on giving coffee a try; I have been hooked ever since.

Drinking coffee was a good way to keep from falling asleep on nightshift and it was here that I started to drink coffee by the gallon. Most of my fellow workers were smokers and this was their way of staying awake, but the coffee filled that void for me.

These days I do not do shift work of course but I still drink my many cups of International Roast each and every day. And for all of the supposed down sides to drinking coffee as far as your health goes, bugger it, I actually like the stuff so why not.

Music and film favorites I have covered in a different chapter.

But on music, I will leave myself open to some ridicule here and let you in on a secret. For all the great concerts I have been fortunate to be at, my standout is Roy Orbison, yeah I know. But I was at the Thebarton Town Hall in 1976 for a memorable night with Roy, so good. A simple performer, but gee, can he sing, he is one of a kind. Love Roy.

And my personal ridicule gets even more open to scrutiny, I am a Slim Dusty tragic and his best performance for me was at the Darwin Entertainment Centre in 1992 when he shared the stage with his daughter Anne Kirkpatrick performing their Two Singers, One Song tour. Loved the show, it was quality entertainment from Slim and his daughter.

Bummer, but here I go again, I can't help myself it seems; I have enjoyed Foster and Allen live, yeah, but really, they are my kinda' stage show. Their hit Maggie was a classic, just a great classic.

And what a shame but the concert I never did see but just know it would have been simply fantastic was Elvis. Imagine being on the strip in Vegas heading to the International Hotel for an Elvis gig! Simply the best. Well, yeah, ok, I would have needed a visit to the States to see the King on stage and sadly my desire to head out of Australia is never strong so a date with Elvis was not really a possibility. Maybe if there was an Elvis impersonator that would do, well, nah, scratch that thought, there was only ever one Elvis.

My favorite season is summer. I am a hot weather person and I enjoy time at the beach so summer really suits. I am a water lover, but the sea is out of bounds with swimming, sharks live there. The smell of the sea and the ocean is fine, I embrace the smells and having lived in Darwin and Dampier then my love for that association with the sea just grew and grew.

And both of these places further enhanced my love for hot weather. Darwin with its tropical wet season-dry season climate was ideal for me. And in the Top End I really loved the rain, probably because the rain did not come with the cold. Tropical rain is warm and inviting. I do handle the cold in small doses but a cold wind works against me. As I am getting older the wind really gets into my body, it is awkward, when my fingers, nose and ears get cold then I know it is darn cold. 

I am an early morning type of bloke, I love to be out and about as early as I can. The world is fresh and new at this time of day and the mind is open and clear after a night of rest. You can simply take in much more in the morning and for me, that is a big plus. In my study years the mornings were the go, I just absorbed things so much easier, later in a day I would find it got a touch more cluttered in the mind and trying to take things in with study was a touch jumbled.

My favorite color is yellow. My favourite animal is a horse. 

My most favored hobby, gardening, I love to be able to get out and potter around. I am good at it; I love to be able to set up a yard or garden how I like, give it my touch. I would have been a good landscape gardener; I believe I have good ideas of how things can look. And I am a big fan of hanging baskets, love them.

My best garden was in Darwin, not just because I loved the tropical feel of the Top End gardens, but I designed the Wagaman yard from scratch and gave it my touch. Sadly, life went in a different direction, and I did not get to see it in its full glory but one day I will be back and get to see the yard in full bloom.

What other hobbies? I love to fish and I love to read and write. Fishing I have covered in its own chapter. I have read many books over the years and now I have my own love of writing.

Alistair McLean has been my most favored author right from when I read his classic, Ice Station Zebra at high school. Colin Thiele is another favorite and I loved his Sun on the Stubble, again a book I read at school.

Another relaxing time I enjoy is newspaper reading and news and current affairs are thigs I embrace.

And for a great part of my life, I loved to have a beer and to just sit and relax.

The best town or place I have lived or visited. Melbourne is my city; it is hands down the best. It is alive and has a buzz that never stops, great city. Put me in Melbourne and I am in my element.

The worst place I have visited, Coober Pedy, what a hellhole. Hot, dirty, dusty, no lawn or greenery. I was staggered at how bad it was. Loved the underground motel I stayed in, what a great concept and attraction but the town itself was a dive.

The Blue Mountains in NSW is the nicest tourist area I have visited; stunning scenery and great attractions: close behind is the northern Flinders Rangers in SA. Tasmania is a state I have visited often and it has lots to offer to the tourist. But having said that I loved the Northern Territory.

A Tassie road trip from Hobart to Launceston and then on to Burnie on the old ocean road would be my best scenic road trip although some of the out of the way roads and tracks in the NT were exciting to travel on. The two states are so different, but I enjoyed very much my travels in both.

Of the Australian capital cities; Perth, great laid-back city, Brisbane I thought is ordinary, Sydney a sightseeing dream with so much to see, Canberra, again lots to look at, a tourist city of great quality, Melbourne I love as I indicated, it is my kind of city and Hobart was small but I guess likeable.

And I am not sure about the two-headed Tasmanian stories but I do know that Hobart’s one-way streets do not always go the same way. One day they head one direction and the next they can go the other way. Makes it a bit confusing to say the least! Darwin, well I have spoken so much about my love of this place, it is really God’s country. And Adelaide, it's home, smallish, compact and a very relaxed place to live.

On that tourist note the greatest structure or building that I have ever seen is the Sydney Opera House. Officially opened in October 1973 the structure was first designed by Joern Utzon in 1957 to stand on Bennalong Point in Sydney Harbour.

The original cost was to be 3.5 million dollars, but the amount blew out over the 16 years it took to complete and the magnificent structure and the cost was so much more. But well worth every dollar.

I remember being so very taken with the Sydney Opera House the first time I set eyes on it in January 1976. Then a few minutes later that same morning as I ventured out onto the harbor on the Manly Ferry from Circular Quay, I marveled at the class and style of this simply magnificent building. It was good, it was in your face good.

And on the other side of the country in northwest WA the manmade Lake Argyle is a masterpiece of design, engineering and building brilliance. A visit here in 1989 left me spellbound as to it's size and beauty.

Finished in 1971, the lake is near Kununarra, it has a surface area of nearly 1,000 square kilometers making it the second largest manmade lake in Australia. What a structure, just beautiful and the water is so blue.

The biggest crowd capacity event that I have ever attended is the 1978 VFL grand final played between North Melbourne and Hawthorn at the MCG. I remember being a part of 100,700 screaming footy fans and thinking how lucky I was to witness this day. Hawthorn won by 18 points in a tough game that I enjoyed immensely even though I had hoped the Roos might win.

What is the most odd thing I have ever done? Wow, that gives me plenty of scope doesn’t it! But I remember as a kid winning a food eating competition. Look, the back story here is funny.

Way, way back when the Barmera Monash Football Club had social Sundays at the old Loveday Hall, one day I was one of three kids who were asked up on stage by band leader and I guess MC Ross Hill to be part of this eating competition. We were each given a sandwich and the first kid to finish the sandwich was declared the winner. Guess it was a bit of fun for the adults who would get to laugh at us poor kids.

Anyhow, I remember looking at the sandwiches on the plate, two had pickles and one did not. I thought quickly and I said, “I hate pickles,” and with that I was handed the best sandwich of the three and of course, BOOM, I won. The prize that Ross gave me was two Violet Crumble bars. Odd but a memory that I often get mileage from when telling the story.

So, they are a few of my favorite things, now, what about my not so favorite things. What do I dislike?

I do not like smoking, never have and never will. It is a dirty habit that I never had an interest in. How we ever survived as non-smokers in the era when smoking was so common in the workplace, the pubs, the clubs, the car or anywhere you wish to mention I do not know. It made many a situation uncomfortable to say the least and what must it have been doing to our health?

And who ever thought that placing hand dryers in public toilets was a better idea than providing paper towel to dry your hands with. I hate those bloody noisy blowy hand machines that rarely work properly. Good old paper hand towel is the way to go!!!

I do not like Richard Charleton, Cathy Freeman or the Liberals. Oh, and did I mention Umpire Vernon?. Bastard.

I have no tolerance of ignorant people, people who do not have the vision and foresight to understand that the world does not revolve around them. My dislike extends to people that do not give up a seat on the bus, people who ridicule less fortunate groups like homeless people or people with mental health issues.

I dislike aggressive drunks and bullies, if you need to add alcohol to be an instant 'arse' then do not drink. I have no time for rude salespeople or for counter staff who do not listen to the consumer. And here in Adelaide, city bus drivers rank with lawyers as the pits of society.

I detest reality TV. It features desperate people who undermine what society is about. “You’re fired,” or “The tribe has spoken,” or “You are the weakest link, goodbye,” or “It’s time to go,” is hardly what humanity should be about towards each other. I do not think that society does itself any favors when it turns on itself as shown by reality TV.

And with music, reality TV makes stars out of contestants without them having done the hard yards. You earn stardom; it should not be handed to you after a month of TV exposure. It does nothing for bands or artists who build up a following through hard work like working the pub circuit or club circuit. Their following is gained over time by exposure to music fans, not by a handful of TV watching desperates with mobile phones who apparently vote for you.

I could never have been a deep-sea diver. I hate being under water, I love swimming and I can dive but I need to surface immediately. I hate things being close to my face so I could never snorkel for example because I could not wear a facemask. I am not good with heights and as such, I could never sky dive. 

My fears are many. Snakes, geez how I hate the darn things, and I mean hate, with a passion type hate. Sharks, no thanks, they scare me pointless, goats and elephants are not far behind and from the bird family, seagulls and plovers have history with me and they are high on my dislike list. 

Scorpions and centipedes get a mention here, they are simply downright scary. I have history with this group of thugs and nippers, so no, not my kinda' thing at all.

Heights are not my thing, I am claustrophobic so confined spaces are not for me, flying I manage but not well, I hate being on the sea in a boat but surprisingly river water boating is fine.

I do not have a phobia really, but I hate needles and I am touchy around the sight of blood! So, yeah, I guess I do have a phobia.

And this final bit is not really suited to anywhere, but I do not know where else to add it. It is a funny side of a dislike, I guess. One day at the Convent school in Barmera when I was in grade six, Sister Leonie was asking the kids in the room questions to eliminate one kid at a time in a fun game we were all playing. The last kid left in was the winner.

The questions were many and varied and then came this question. “Who has the biggest nose.” To a tee, all the other kids said Johnny Green! I was shell-shocked; I had no idea I had a big nose. Ok, thank-you I do now but at the time, I was innocent to the fact. Bloody Catholic kids!

So, add Sister Leonie and all the catholic kids who were in the classroom that day to the dislike list.

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When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I’ve had,

And then I don’t feel so bad.